Diablo I. Gamepedia support Report a bad ad Help Wiki Contact us. Wiki Classes Story World Monsters. Diablo IV. Explore Wikis Community Central. Register Don't have an account? Aunt Edna : Clark, Dinkums needs a long walk and a bath. Clark Griswald : Rusty take care of Dinkums. Rusty : Dad he bites. Clark Griswald : Bite him back. Ellen Griswald : We're not really violent people.
This is our first gun. Clark Griswald : No, it isn't. Ellen Griswold : [after the bartender shoots at Clark] Clark, I don't think that was funny. A loud noise like that could damage the kids' hearing. Clark Griswald : C'mon, Ellen. It looked real. Hell - I thought it was a real gun. Didn't you think it was real, honey? Audrey Griswold : What? Clark Griswald : I said didn't you think it was real?
Ellen Griswold : Oh are you happy now Clark? She's deaf. Clark Griswald : Oh what the hell - it was fun anyway. Ellen Griswold : We can't leave her on the patio! Clark Griswald : Would you rather I slipped her in the night deposit box at the funeral home? Could you please tell how to get back on the expressway? Pimp : Man, who do I look like, Christopher Columbo?
Ed, the car salesman : I'll get to the bottom of this. Davenport : Yes, Mr. Ed, the car salesman : Mr. Griswold ordered a blue sports wagon, where is it? Davenport : I don't know sir. Ed, the car salesman : [to Clark] I know what must have happened. It didn't come in. Clark Griswald : Ed, I'm not your average everyday fool.
Now I want my blue sports wagon and if you can't get it I'm gonna take my business elsewhere! Where's my old car? Ed, the car salesman : I'm just as upset as you are, believe me. Get Mr. Griswald's car back and bring it back here!
Now I can get you the wagon, there's not problem there. The problem is that it might take six weeks. Now, I owe it to myself to tell you that if you're taking the whole tribe cross-country, the Wagon Queen Family Truckster You think you hate it now, wait 'til you drive it. Clark Griswald : I don't want to drive it. I just want my old car back. I'm not falling for this. Let's go, Russ. Clark Griswald : Roy Have you even driven cross-country?
Roy Walley : Oh, hell yes. Drove the whole family to Florida. Worst two weeks I ever spent in my life. The smell from the back seat was terrible. Clark Griswald : Ooooh. Ooooh, I know that smell. Roy, could you imagine if you had driven all the way to Florida and it was closed? Roy Walley : Closed? Uh, they don't close Florida. Clark Griswald : Oh Ellen, the old west was dirty.
Everything isn't like home. If everything were like home, there would be no reason for leaving home. Right, Rusty? Clark Griswald : This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy! Aunt Edna : You're the ones who sent me the fruitcake for Christmas.
It made me so sick! Ellen Griswold : Oh - we're sorry. We thought you enjoyed fruitcake. Aunt Edna : Do you enjoy throwing up every five minutes Claude? Clark Griswald : Clark. Aunt Edna : I thought so. Well am I gonna eat, or am I gonna starve to death?
Clark : Aah, what d'ya say honey? Despite all the little problems, it really is fun isn't it? Ellen Griswold : No. But with every new day there's fresh hope. Clark Griswald : [after being in the desert for too long, Clark begins to go insane] Taxi! I'm dead. Here boy! The heat. I'm finished. Ellen Griswold : She must have passed away somewhere near Flagstaff.
What are we going to do, Clark? Clark Griswald : Well, we could leave her here and the first phone we pass, we could call your Cousin Normie and he could come and get her, I guess.
Ellen Griswold : That is the meanest, coldest Clark Griswald : Well what do you want me to do? Call Federal Express? Audrey Griswold : Mom, we don't have to ride with a dead person, do we? Please say we don't! Rusty Griswold : Yeah, come on, Mom. If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised.
How could things get any worse? Take a look around you, Ellen! We're at the threshold of hell!! Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead? Country Life. Design Ideas. Home Maintenance. Country Living Shop. Shopping Guides.
How did you get a bonus? I cut out bonuses this year. Clark : Yeah. Thanks for telling us. I was expecting a check. Instead I got enrolled in a jelly club. I've gotten a Christmas bonus every year but this one.
You don't want to give bonuses, fine. But when people count on them as their salary, well what you did just plain Rusty Griswold : Sucks. Clark : Thank you, Russ. My cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain Eddie : Appreciate that, Clark. Clark : Is innocent. I'll be more than happy to take the rap on this, on behalf of myself and every other employee you rear-ended this Christmas.
Eddie : If you scratch his belly, Clark, he will love you till the day you die. Clark : I really shouldn't, Eddie. My hands are all chapped. Ellen : You set standards that no family activity can live up to. Clark : When have I ever done that? Ellen : Parties, weddings, anniversaries, funerals, holidays Clark : Goodnight Ellen.
Ellen : Vacations, graduations Ellen : [sees Clark standing up and looking out the window] Aren't you having any breakfast? Clark : I'm not in the mood. Clark : Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn; the clean, cool chill of the holiday air; and an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.
Art : [after Clark has flipped out] You're goofy. Clark : [Still flipped out] Don't piss me off, Art. Clark : Well I'm gonna park the cars and get check the luggage, and well, I'll be outside for the season. Clark : [the newel post is wobbly so Clark cuts it off with a chain saw] Fixed the newel post. Clark : I think you've made a terrible mistake. Clark : May we blink?
Clark : [Clark is about to cut the rope holding the branches of his huge Christmas tree] I give you the Griswold family Christmas tree. Clark : Lotta sap in here! Looks great! Little full, lotta sap. Clark : 'Tis the season to be merry. Mary : That's my name. Clark : No shit. Clark : I'm sure I can't even afford to be an elf. Clark : What about the kids? Eddie : His kids can fend for themselves. Clark : Lewis? My tree!
Uncle Lewis : So what's the matter with you? Clark : Look what you've done to my tree! Clark : Whew, it's warm in here. Mary : Well you have your coat on. Clark : Ah yes I do, why is that? Mary : Because it's cold out. Clark : Yes it is, it's a bit nipply out.
I mean nippy out, what did I say, nipple? Huh, there is a nip in the air. Eddie : Your company kill all them people in India not too long ago? Clark : No, we missed out on that one. Clark : Russ, go get the hammer. Ellen : Clark, what do you need a hammer for? Clark : I'm gonna catch it in the coat And smack it with the hammer.
Clark : [Clark looks down at the jello and sees that it's trimmed with cat food] Aunt Bethany, does your cat eat jello? Clark : Later dudes! Let 'er rip, hang ten! Clark : I can't believe you're standing here in my living room, Eddie. Never thought the day would come. Eddie : Yeah I'm excited about it too.
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